I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
