It's Friday. Sex?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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