she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
