Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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