you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
