why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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