shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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