it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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