I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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