yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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