Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
