I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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