Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you will always have a special place in my vag
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
