thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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