you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
