Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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