Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
