I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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