Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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