So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
