People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
