I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
