I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
