The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
