dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
