I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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