TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The Olympian is in my bed
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
