Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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