I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
