like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
