Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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