i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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