Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
