I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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