i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
His nipple licking is glorious
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