some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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