just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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