Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
