Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
