I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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