i jhust puked up my retainher.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
