Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
