thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
