Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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