Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
