and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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