My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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