Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
