I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
