There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Is it penis luge time yet?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
