last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
