But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
