Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
