Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
