It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
