Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
