If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
